Thursday 5 March 2020

Latest BardSong wins "Highly Commended" award. It's called "The Dreams of Wannabe Johnnie B"

I wish I was a famous guy 
So’s I can give up school. 
I’d poke that bully in the eye, 
And make him look a fool. 
I’d make a billion bucks and buy 
The coolest motor cyke, 
I’d travel round the world and I 
Would never have to hike. 

But Dad said “Son, if rich you’d be, 
You’ll have to study heaps, 
Then go to university.” 
But that gives me the creeps! 
“Or maybe get a job,” he said 
“You’d have to work real hard. 
Stop dreaming and get out of bed! 
Go out and sweep the yard!” 


I’d like to be the president 
Of the United States. 
Though King of England’s more my bent. 
I’ll knight all of me mates. 
I’d order all my fav’rite foods. 
It’s Macca’s every night! 
Arrest the crooks and nasty dudes. 
King Johnnie makes it right! 

But Mum said “Johnny, little man, 
Don’t think of such a thing! 
A president’s Ameri-can, 
A king is born a king. 
When things go wrong you’d get the blame 
No matter what you do. 
The press they try to stain your name. 
Assassins target you!” 


Or how’s about a superstar 
Performing on the stage? 
I’ll knock ‘em dead with my guitar, 
My songs are all the rage. 
Then all the chicks’ll think I’m rad 
And swoon each time I sing. 
Then even family would be glad 
That I’m just like The King. 

But my best friend just laughed and jeered: 
“But you can’t hold a tune! 
The songs you write sound kinda weird, 
Like howling at the moon. 
You just don’t practice every night. 
You don’t tune your guitar. 
With Elvis-curls you look a fright. 
You’ll never be a star. 


I’d love to be a Jedi Knight, 
Light Sabre in my hand. 
Them big bad Siths I’d bravely fight, 
The Force I could command. 
I’d take my friends to stars beyond. 
Their hero I would be. 
I’d drop fat Billie in the pond 
Just like he done to me. 

But big Bro scoffed “You’re such a nerd! 
Those worlds just don’t exist. 
The dumbest thing I ever heard! 
Your brain’s lost in a mist. 
Some special powers the Jedi had 
But even if they’re true, 
Ol’ master Yoda would be mad 
To train a geek like you!” 


‘Magine me as Superman 
With muscles like balloons. 
I’d fly in with my garbage can 
And clean up all them hoons. 
Or even just a footy star 
Full forward I would play. 
I’d kick the mostest goals by far 
Upon Grand Final Day. 

But, I dunno. Yeah, what’s the use? 
I’ll never be that great. 
I’ll always be just Johnnie Bruce 
The cool kids love to hate. 
Just silly dreams these are, maybe. 
I’ll always be the same: 
Just full of mediocrity, 
I’ll never get no fame. 

Then, Pastor Dan, he spoke to me: 
“Hey! Listen, Johnnie mate. 
Famous we may never be, 
But we can still be great. 
The most loved folks of history 
Just carried out their call, 
And here’s the greatest mystery: 
To rise, you have to fall. 

“Don’t try to be a wannabe, 
Earning huge amounts. 
God has a plan – your destiny – 
And that’s what really counts. 
The greatest Man Who walked this Earth 
He won, then lost His fame. 
A carpenter of humble birth, 
Yes, Jesus was His Name.”

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